Friday, February 29, 2008

My Biggest Hurdle

I've been doing a Bible study online lately. (Thanks, Holly!) It's Beth Moore's Believing God series. I'm only a week and a half into the study, and I'm amazed at what God has changed in my heart and in my life. I can see Him working more and more day by day. Today I was even inspired to laugh and thank Him outloud for the blessing of a very close parking spot close to the entrance to Wal-Mart - it was pouring rain!

(If any of you are looking for a good study, or are having struggles with your faith, or are looking to grow, or just love Beth Moore, I highly recommend this study - click on the link above for more information.)

I've come to realize that one of the biggest hurdles I will have to overcome in my struggle to trust God more is dealing with the wait-and-see's of life. The times when I know that God has a specific purpose for what is happening in my life...but I can't see what it is. The times when I know what I'm supposed to do...but I'm not sure where to start. The times when I feel like there's more to the story...and I have to wait for the answers.

Patience has never been my forte. Ever. That can be excused in a child, to a certain extent, but you know what? As an adult, I'm still very impatient. Nothing frustrates me more than to be behind someone driving 43 mph in a 45 mph zone. I love Christmas, but the anticipation it all drives me batty. I think I was pregnant with Wendy for about 27 months. That's what it felt like anyway. (I wonder if this could be why my girlie is so impatient? Nah...)

As I'm learning more about God, and more about myself, and learning how to believe God instead of just believing in God, my impatience is definitely rearing its ugly head. There are some things up in the air right now, with finances, living situations, family planning, etc. James and I are working together to figure stuff out, but once you do all you can, you simply have to sit back and...wait.

And as I type that, and admit to you the struggles that I have with waiting, I can feel God's peace gently settle over me.

And so, there is hope. I will make it through the waiting. And it will be worth it.

Isn't our God fantastic?

I'll leave you with a little music from my boys:


CrownLaidDown said...

Oh, I agree. I am patient for SO many things. And yet...and yet..God still stretches me farther. I keep thinking--isn't this enough now? Can we stop this stretching and say it's ok now?

He is faithful to do every good thing He intends to shape us into mighty instruments, who not only wield in power, but who believe that He is able to do it and that through us.

Good words today, Jeni. I'm so glad BG is a blessing to you! I will catch up soon.

Much love,

Tiffany said...

Jeni, I am so proud of you for making this journey. I know how hard it is to start, but I am finding that it is very rewarding! Hang in there, girl!

Sandi said...

I can relate, Jeni -- in some things I am very patient, in others, not so much...and waiting on God is super hard. Thank you for sharing.