You may have noticed from the tone & frequency of my posts that I'm feeling much better. I still have days when the nausea returns, or the exhaustion reaches a level I just can't work through, but in general, I feel roughly 500% better than I did even two short months ago. And I've come to realize that illness (and hormones) make me a very self-centered, self-absorbed, self-focused person.
While I think that's understandable given the situation and the extent of physical discomfort & despair I was in, that time has passed. It's time to move on.
There are times in life when it seems like God is trying to tell me something. Not like actual verbal instructions (although I think that would be terrifying & also quite nice), but more of an urging in a certain direction. It often manifests in a repeating idea that comes through conversations with others, Bible class topics, sermons, even music & whatever books I happen to be reading.
Right now, I think God is reminding me that I am to be a servant. My job, in His kingdom and in real life, is to serve others. That means I need to be serving James and serving my family, instead of constantly sitting back & letting others serve me. As I said, there is a time for that, and that time has passed.
It's going to take effort. It's going to take constant reminders to not slip back into auto-focus - that typical self-centered way of thinking.
Philippians 2:5-7 (NIV)
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.